Deployments

As a military wife deployments are very much a part of my life.  Having said that I haven't had to experience one in almost 4 years now and the fact that one is looming around the corner has me a little bit nervous.  I heard myself once say to a group of women, "I don't mind deployments, I almost enjoy them" and as it often does, the conversation moved on before I could explain myself.  Obviously no woman in her right mind would "enjoy" being left behind by her best friend and partner in life.  I often say these weird statements because I hate being the naysayer.  I don't like negativity.  I want to think everything's always coming up roses so to speak.  What I meant by that crazy statement is simply this:

Deployments are a very large part of our lifestyle and I do not spend my days or weeks or months worrying about the next one that is coming up.  I don't look forward to them but, on the other hand, I've accepted them as normal life and deal with them accordingly.  What good would it do me or my family to stress and complain about something that has to be done? When I said "I almost enjoy them" the ALMOST is a huge factor in that statement.  When I have my big girl panties (Sorry mom, I know I shouldn't use "panties" in a blog that could be read by "mixed company" haha, had to throw that in there) on and my rose colored glasses are perched perfectly on my nose, I see the positive aspects of a deployment.  I know that some of you fellow military wives are probably thinking, WHAT?! IS SHE NUTS?!  but this is honestly how my mind works.  Let's look at the positive aspects of my husband going to a foreign country where people want to kill him, those are as follows: We write letters, the handwritten kind,  when he deploys and it reminds me of when we were dating and first got married.  We learned a lot about each other in those letters and there is something magical about waiting everyday for the mail lady to bring you a small envelope with the love of your life's handwriting on it.  Also, the few days before he comes home I am a ball of nerves and expectancy...I can NOT WAIT to see him...it is truly an amazing experience to see your husband step off of a plane after 4 months of seperation and the PRIDE that comes along with the fact that he is awesome at his job and does it with character and integrity, without complaint, and because he feels passionately about serving this great Nation.  Also, there is a plethora of wives, some who I call friends who have said goodbye to their loved ones for a lot longer than 4 months, I can not complain about 4 months without my husband when friends of mine are surviving everyday knowing that that special someone will not come home.  And while I do worry sometimes about those things I try not to, "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34 and Matthew 10:28-31,  28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.


I don't look forward to deployments and am nervous about the kids wanting their daddy and not understanding how awesome it is that he is the kind of guy that is willing to walk away from everything he holds dearest and do a job that not many want to do. I am nervous that I will cry in front them when he leaves, I DO NOT CRY IN PUBLIC!  It is ugly, I am no pretty crier, I can assure you.  The only place I can feel the least bit comfortable crying around strangers is in a dark movie theater.  Church services have caused me to spring a leak from the eyeballs a few times and I do not like it.  However, I look forward to the letters, the longing that often goes away in a day to day routine of marriage and have faith that God is in control of our lives and we will be ok, whatever the circumstances.