Last year was a pretty hard year for our family. We found out that we were moving to Wyoming and started trying to sell our house and in the midst of this process Stephen had to go to Little Rock for some training for 4 months. It was tough to try and keep a house show ready with 2 toddlers and no daddy at home to help referee, oh yea, and 2 dogs as well. Also, the thought of moving a full day's drive away from our families was pretty hard as well.
Also, I had 2 miscarriages in 2011. One on Mother's Day and one in October. Thankfully we were visiting Stephen in Little Rock for the first one and I was so blessed to be surrounded by my entire family during the second one while we were on vacation in the Smoky Mountains. If you are going to go through something traumatic I would say that doing it surrounded by family and the beauty of fall in the Smokies is the best case scenario.
So, we found out we were pregnant about 6 weeks ago and while we were excited, I was very apprehensive. It was hard for me to get excited because I didn't want to be disappointed again. I kept telling myself to have faith and believe that this was a happy, healthy baby and everything was going to be fine but that was much harder said than done. We went to have a sonogram at 6 weeks and saw the tiniest flutter of a heartbeat and it was such a blessing to see but of course I thought, "man, it is going to be even harder if I lose this baby having seen that".
Today changed all of that for me. I went in for my 10 week check-up and the doctor warned me that they can't always get the heartbeat at 10 weeks and it has to be in the perfect position. I wondered if this was going to be another test of my faith but prayed that God would allow me the reassurance of hearing the evidence of life in my belly today. Well, it took maybe 10 seconds for her to find it with the doppler and the most beautiful loud whooshing sound filled the room. Tears filled my eyes and I immediately thanked God for His amazing creation. The doctor even closed her eyes and lifted her face to the ceiling. We were both relieved. She had the biggest smile on her face as she told me that now the worrying could end and it seemed like we had a baby with a strong, fast heartbeat on the way.
I know so many women have gone through miscarriages and I am lucky to have had mine without needing intervention from doctors to help me along. I am now full on excited about this baby. I haven't looked at baby things or put much thought into a nursery and honestly, my personality does lend well to advanced planning. I probably still won't look at very many baby things and the nursery will probably not happen for a few more months. I want to know if we are having a boy or a girl before I jump the gun on that stuff but I will say that I am excited and even more than that, I am grateful for our 3rd baby to come. Boy or Girl we will celebrate the life God has chosen us to parent and rejoice in His perfect will for our lives.
